New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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