I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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