Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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