things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
