y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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