Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
is wine microwaveable?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
