Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
