You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
