You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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