just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
