that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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