chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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