2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
