you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
