you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
