can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
