i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
