YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
