so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
