I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
