I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize