I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
