I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
