I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
