Dual....:-)
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
