Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
