This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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