Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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