You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
