it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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