all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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