They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
