So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
