Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize