My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
