he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
