ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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