My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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