strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
