My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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