Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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