i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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