Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
