I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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