Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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