she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
