I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
