Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
