...so i touched it.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
