OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
