Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
