no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
