All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
