I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
