take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
