Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
