It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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