You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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